[ be true and faithful. ]

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

igiveuponmyself.
its the same prob tt i faced with every single fren.
let time bring those tears away.
i dont want to try anymore.
imsuchanidiot.
its time.
to let you go and let u be happier.
its time to step out of ur life.
maybe u care.but u just ignore/dont want to face the prob too.
but ya.
its over.

i have to accept the fact.
lol.nth can ever be the same anymore.
now tt u have gt back ur impt fren.i can step out of ur life.
but i will always treat u as my best fren tts for sure.for sure.
always praying for you.and if u ever feel u need a listening ear.im here.
i will try my best for u.always.promise.

butfornowimtiredoffacingmyself.letmerunawayfrommyfeelings.
invrwanttobeme.nvr.
im forever that emotional yea? whatever.
tts why i hate myself.isnt it.

(wendy) ♥ 12:26 AM

Monday, May 29, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
specially for best enemy.

(wendy) ♥ 12:43 AM

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

today.
sakae with the old bunch of ppl.
i really missed u ppl.
but i know tt all along u ppl are naturally closer and stuff.
i did feel left out.
yarh.blehhh.
its nvr what i wanna feel.i mean who wants to be tt way.
maybe its just me.
whatever larhs.i dont need to feel tt way.
im trying not to think tt way.
ya i know its normal.
but im trying.rahh.
anyway i wanna break tt thought and feeling.so what if i feel left out.
i can talk to BIG DADDY.and i can also try to be more optimistic.
yay!

my neck hurts.
and im not feeling well either.
tml is work again.

ppl i wanna thank so much for.

da jie.i love u larhs.lol.but ya.somethings i really don wanna feel tt way.im trying to change.
best enemy.u rock.its not ur fault yea? i was just too exhausted.and its my fault tt i keep dozing off.RAH.im comfortable with tt silence anyway. =D
barney.heydude.u take care.u rock larhs.my buddy buddy!
lester.for being my best indian fren.WEEEETS.
laogong.BOON!!! love you mans.im here for u ok!
eunice.thanks for all tt u have done.
isaacKER.thanks for ur sms-es.son.
kengliang.u have been a gd listening ear.
bro derek.sis amy.thank u.for being my youth ministers.
ESTHERMUMMY.i heart u!
sis yeen fun.bro willy.my beloved pastors.
bro rick seaward.the pat on my head.the word of consolation.i know u care for us.big spiritual daddy.
wengkeong.for being my lamepal.

i wanna resume my duties in the church.
i wanna come back to u ppl.
with a sister's role to play.
i wanna be tt vessel.
to spread God's love to each and every single one out there.
circumstances may stop me.but i will BREAK it.in God's name.
because.your light will shine when all else fails.
i love u Jesus.
i wanna move on with the body.
take me deeper in love with you.
its just the start of another exciting battle with a trial with smth new to learn.
=D
break my pride.make me humble before u.
because there is so much more to learn from u Father.
teach me things i need to learn.
im willing.
bring me to the ends of the earth.where u wan me to go.im ready.waiting for ur timing.

and yea.spend time with God ppl.without Him.there's nth worth living for.
only He can fill the emptiness.

(wendy) ♥ 10:17 PM

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

nice day at work.
i love centrept robinsons. =DDD
hehehe my colleagues rocks.
yeppp.
even tho today we were all v busy.until no time to talk even.
but the little smiles we gave each other were enough to make us feel happy. =DD
yepp today passed v fast.because of robinsons SALES!
hehehehe nice nice day.

i finally learn to put everything into ur hands.
Lord.thanks for giving me another test.
the test of faith.
and the things tt u wan me to do for ur kingdom.i would do. :)
for u.i would.
i can still have joy in the midst of trials.tt can nvr be done.
only with you. can i still be happy.and face my trial.
no matter how bad my situation is.i wanna praise you!

oh yes.kengliang.u rock larhs ok.lol
since im supposed to blog bout u.
hmmm nice chatting with ya on msn yest.
u were hilarious as usual.and ya jia you. =D
u can do it.
make God ur onli focus and run after Him with all ur life.yepp.take care dude.

MI carnival is coming.
my gdness.ALL the pae and jae ppl!! = YAYness.
imagine.sugar.honey.da jie.06a3 pae and jae.AHHHH!! so exciting LARHS.

(wendy) ♥ 10:36 PM

im glad everything is OVER.
yes i had off today.
nvr felt so gd to have an OFF day larhs. =DDD

lol went out.SUPER funny.
non stop laughters.
yes me and bestenemy went out larhs.
thanks to him.we ended up walkin alot ALOT.like near those wilderness and trees.
one big round to find carl's junior when it was onli SUPER close to us.
thanks to tt army style of training! hehehehehe
my gdness.and he repeated.we are near there alr.i noe one.just follow me.the burgers are calling out to us.i sense it.for like a zillion times but in the end.we were ALMOST lost.THANKS ah.heheheheehe.
ya la.we just laughed and laughed alot.
then go ky and sit down.then ben wu came.both of them=BIG bullies larhs.
then yup all 3 of us went to flash n splash.
they bought their slippers.
and ben wu saw his eye candy.laughs.

then i went for solemn assembly.
i really wanna commit myself to God.more.

ive learn a terrible truth.
i feel like my world is crashing.
i need my Father.God.i need you.so badly.

(wendy) ♥ 12:08 AM

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

it is you.it is you.
that i need.that i need.
Father.ive finally come back to you.
with a broken heart.and all i want to do is
hand you back the control of my life.
yesterday was the day i finally stopped depending on myself.but by ur spirit.
you just healed my heart with ur GREAT GREAT love.
you made everything well.
i thank you Lord for this trial.i long and yearn for you.
i do.

i wanna specially thank barney.
thanks for tt vision.
yes.im learning to come back to my Father.
and for the sms-es. =)

thanks laogong! for tt yuan fen thingy! hehehehe
and tt little gd nite msg.

and to you.
ive failed to look past the surface and see ur intentions.
i deserve to be smacked a zillion times.
really i do.
we have been thru so much.yet my stupidity could not comprehend ur intentions for my well being.
i owe u more than an apology.
but ya u forgave me.
u did so much for me.but i do not deserve such a gd fren.
teach me.how to be a better fren to be worthy of ur frenship.

and finally to my da jie.
yes da jie.ive finally learn to stop hiding things from the Father.
esp bout us.now i just feel so close to you.
i guess DADDY just brought back the closeness.
its as if ive just went out with you yest and everything is fresh in my mind.
all i want to say is thankyou for being understanding and i wish to go out with you soon.
i treasure you.and this will nvr change.
really.
and ya.i miss you.i really do.
our frenship must mean more than this because God is in control of it.
i nvr will wanna rush our frenship.
i will learn to be more understanding.
yes i still love you and i think tt as long as i see you.
i will be able to talk to you like before.but of course lets talk with maturity and love as you said. :)
i thank u for ur concern and yea lets slowly walk our frenship walk.
you really mean alot to me.and ya.loves and hugs! =)
i seek ur forgiveness.
you will be a dear dear sis in my heart.
always and forever.

(wendy) ♥ 9:37 AM

Monday, May 15, 2006

how i wish i could undo this knot in my life.

such a dumb dream.
forget it larhs.
u nvr should appear there anw.shoo.

why do i let unhappiness and depression take over so easily.
just like tt.
im getting supersensitive until i feel so irritated by myself.
why.i dont know.
i tot i should let u go.now tt u are having a gd life.
it seems like im nt impt anymore.
is tt the case? why do i feel so.
insignificant.

ahhh.
work is draining.
my heels hurt so bad i cant even walk properly.
rahhh.
tml will be at centrepoint robinsons.
hope it wud be better.
anyway yea thanks son.for tt SMALL.i emphasize SMALL mother's day gift to me.LOL
i didnt get anything for my mum.so unfilial.haiz
nvm.

happy mother's day.
here's to the things i wud nvr be able to say to u mum.
we may argue.but it doesnt mean i dont love u.
i cherish u.just tt u dunno it.
ive nvr said i love u before.cuz i dun ever think i can get tt out of my mouth.
i may be rude sometimes.but i always feel remorseful after tt.
i noe im not a gd daughter.
but i promise u once i get my pay i try to get u smth u like.
we all know tt we arent v close to each other.
cuz we are really v diff.
but above all.i cherish u.

and Father.i wanna ride thru this storm with u.
to be still and know u are sovereign.

i just read tt post.
i wanna say so much.just tt i cant ever express myself.
i controlled my tears
i donnoe how i should feel.im touched i know.
thanks for the effort.in my heart..ur place has nvr changed.believe it a not.
ive nvr blamed u.because i really loved u as a sis.
but i dunno since when have my heart stopped wanting to communicate with anyone else.
even you.
maybe this decision wont cease gg on.
the conversation i had with u.onli made me feel how far apart we are now.

what are frens.
why do i have to struggle thru this dead knot over and over again.
havent i stopped hoping from frens? why am i at it again?
i try to take initiative tho i hate it.but its so not appreciated.
i give up.

(wendy) ♥ 12:24 AM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

another tired day of work.

but im glad tt God im falling back on everlasting arms.
you have made my day.Father. :)
u give me the strength to smile.even when there is no reason to.
u give me things to be happy abt at work.
the little gal and her bro tt gave me a purple balloon and talked to me.
it just brings a smile and some warmness in my heart.

i thank God.
for isaac ker my son.
and esther mummy.

thanks for the little concern and tt phone call.
it feels gd to noe.tt u pple care and contact me.
out of the busy days in my life.when im most down and out.most exhausted and worn out.
u ppl gave me some concern.thank you.

i feel far from u ppl.maybe.
we aint meant to be frens.
i really feel tt i cant believe in frens anymore.
:) its better this way.
but some who showed me concern.i try my best to continue believing you ppl.

im glad.to be near you my Father.thanks for being my support.
i need you.

(wendy) ♥ 10:17 PM

Friday, May 12, 2006

why do we feel tt life is empty and void.
because we havent been spending enough time with our Father.
tts how i feel.my work.drains me.
totally.

i feel sooo empty.so tired.
i dont wish to speak to any one.
relate to anyone.
because nobody tried reaching to me anyway.

i shall just go on
being smiley.when im not.
tts the best i can do for u all.

i just need my Father.frens?a few would do.
anyway.i only have a few to begin with.
lolll ironic.

the only reason why im so empty now.
i can only blame myself.Father forgive me.
i wanna come back to you.

i wont give up on my walk with you.
i wont give up in finding your presence and seeking ur face.
but Father.im weak.gimme the strength.

tml is work day again.
i hope my heart nvr gets revived.never.

(wendy) ♥ 10:48 PM

HEY PPL.i have started workin.
i will be rotated around bugis junction seiyu.centrept robinsons and takashimaya.
if anyone of u wish to have lunch with me.FIND ME!
my lunch break=1 hr!
=DDDD
im selling SHOES!
yeps.

at first im supoosed to work at expo.
and tt two days.i was bullied by an experienced colleague.
he is NOT a man.i tell u.i had to do double his work.cause he was SLACKING.
he makes me do the most TOUGH stuff.carrying.pulling shoes out for customers.finding the code.
and he is NOT the boss.he almost denied me of my dinner break la.like WHAT DE.
im also human.i need to rest.
he always go and chit chat when i have a lot of customers.make me serve all the customers myself.then he disappear.
and the boss not there.
sadded.
i really kenna tt guy bully until v badddddd.
i was super close to crying but i tolerated.
he BOSSED me ard.when i did all my stuff and he did NOTHING.
but i didnt say anything.i just tolerated.
i nvr felt tt close to smacking someone.
i think this is a test RAH.
BUT! i LOVE my customers TOTALLY.they were super cute larhhhh.
=D
it's God's grace im being taken to bugis YAYness!
no need to see tt idiot guy anymore.he still ask me to pray for him to strike lottery cause he bought it.i was thinking nvr will i pray over this kind of things.its not even what God wants.BLEH.
work is fun.but i was so worn out and saddened over this IDIOT.who kept bullying me.
finally.its OVER!
today i will be working at bugis! FIND ME!
=D

maybe im selfish maybe i really am.
i will change.maybe i shouldnt bother you.maybe.
i dunno myself anymore.dont wanna worry u anymore.
i just want u to be happy too :)
maybe i will learn to seek God only.no more frens.hope in the Lord.

and ya why i didnt find u.cause u have so many frens.where am i in ur life now.
just wan u to remain in ur happy world. :)
i just didnt noe he wud tell u.
even if im very forgotten.its ok.i still heart u.
i dont tag u anymore.cuz u have so mani concerned bout u.
lolll.

(wendy) ♥ 9:30 AM

Sunday, May 07, 2006

things are happening.
but no matter how sad i am.i have to accept things the way they are.
because i noe its really what i need to do.
mood affected my whole worship and focus on Jesus.im sorry.
God.i wanna love u.with my 100%.
really.teach me.i'll learn.

i felt.moody.sad.
but it wil all go away.

i love the kids in CW.
RENAN!!! <- SUPER CUTE.
the new boy.ezekiel is also SUPER CUTE.
i love them all.i promise i do!
=DDDDD

i want the clock to strike 12 tonight.

(wendy) ♥ 9:32 PM

Friday, May 05, 2006

do ppl tell me things just for the sake of saying it.
do u mean it.
am i ur spare tyre.
would u do things for me.
would u be there for me.
would u? would u?
where do i stand.i feel empty.
in man's promises.frenships.and everything.how do i trust again.
i can only trust in the Lord.now.

i watched i not stupid2 again
hehehe i cried myself silly.
SUPER touching la.as always.

yest i listened to more than words.06a3 JAE theme song!!
oh how i miss them.
i promise i really do!

my sugar and honey.
my maria.fauzia!
zila and yazid.
EVERYONE!!!! RAHHH.i miss EVERYONE.
can i sneak backkkk... =P

and YAY.im sitting with bird tml for edge!
andddddddd dinner.yay! so long nvr hear from her le!
lalalalala~

and this morning.my neighbour got me
LAO PO BING!
from hongkong one u noe.
yuan lang! famous for lao po bing! even the packaging same as those in the hk drama serials i watched la!
SOOOOO nice!
i LOVE lao po bing!
and i keep eating NON stop these few days.
GIGANTIC monster.oozing with fats alr la! >.<
SADD! i wanna diet.i seriously want to stop munching so much alr.
and everyday i think of FOOD.
solemn assembly coming.GULPS.
hehehe

(wendy) ♥ 4:45 PM

Thursday, May 04, 2006

how do we have faith.
by reading the bible and believing.
trustin in the unseen and holding on to God's promises.
and when we trust. we believe in His hands over everything and look past the end result.
it doesnt matter what we get in the end.
but its the things we learn in the process.

and its not bout feeling God.
sometimes we do feel Him.sometimes we dont.
but in the end.
its holding on the promise.that He is ALWAYS there.no matter what we are facing or gg thru!

thank you Father.
yest was such a horrible day.
but im glad today i spend more time with you.

its so impt.so impt.
to pray.and talk to you Father.

im so glad.so so so glad.
smth gd happened.tt encourages me even more.to love u my Father.
to not give up.to work even harder.

even tho my body was so affected by my mood
and i started binging non stop to cure that weird feeling in my tummy.
the itchyness =X
yes.i really relied too much on tt frenship.first time this happened to me.
i just eat to cure my unhappiness.and stop thinking.
but its all SO wrong. i should learn to read and meditate on ur words.
and sing praises to u.
so Father.im coming back to you.
yes now im gg to QT! =D

(wendy) ♥ 12:05 AM

Monday, May 01, 2006

i cant believe im typing 3 posts in a day.
i guess im just too bored.

i wonder why do ppl compare.
esp me.
i seriously wonder.
then in the end i end up gettin hurt or gettin nowhere with this crappy feeling about myself.
but why is the ppl ard so near to perfection.
and where am i. NOWHERE.
maybe i only noe how to give ppl advices but not myself.
ppl have SO MANY talents.but what do i have other than the love of chi.is tt all there is to it?
then why do ppl have so many gd frens.and i have like sort of none?

but someone told me.
can God not use the few talents more than the many talents.

my heart agrees.but somehow.i dont feel any better.
RAHHHHH.
pls someone smack me or do smth.cuz i cant keep up with my ever changing heart and its mood.
gimme a break.

(wendy) ♥ 9:13 PM

hmmm.
today passed real quickly. i guess?
played comp game with my bro.
i rem someone told me that i should learn cooking.
and my dad also pestered me to learn cookin to grab my husband's stomach next time.
hehehehe so funny.
and today is the first time i tried cooking.
YAY! fun!
hehehe NOW i noe.cookin is nvr an easy chore.
learn how to cut prawns,mushroom and spring onions.
then i learn how to fry a simple veg.
and i learnt another simple dish
YAY!
happy~~~~
so i will be learning how to cook from now on.
=DD

so near yet so far.
just a click apart.
but oh well.
its a test. :/
all for God's glory.

(wendy) ♥ 7:05 PM

praise you in this storm.
Father. can i?
there is no big crisis for me at this moment.
but im slippin into dryness and lose of focus again.

and i hate tt kind of feeling.
ahhhh.
pls.help me get closer to you Father.
its so easy to sink back into nothingness again.
and im feelin so empty.
pls fill me up.beloved Father.

let me learn to praise you.

(wendy) ♥ 12:25 PM